WE HAVEN'T HAD SEX??!!?
Yup, you read that right. We have not had sex, and we've been together for 15 months and are engaged!!
Before I met Matt, I was reading The New Rules for Love Sex & Dating by Andy Stanley, and the last chapter dared the readers to give up dating for a whole year. If you remember one of my posts from almost two years ago now, then you remember me taking on that dare. Clearly, that didn't work; I only lasted about 4 months. I really thought I would last longer, but Matt started practically begggggging me to date him ... not exactly true lol. But (index finger held up in the air) he did say he would "wait with", (not wait for) me, while I figured it all out! So that was kinda sweet, annnd a tad weird...
And then, we started talking about dating.
( Well honestly, I don't even remember if we started talking about it or we just fell into liking each other and were like, "yeah, you'll do.". Kidding, totally kidding...that didn't happen!!! ) One of the first things I told Matt was that I wanted to wait til marriage (whether or not that was him) and if he wasn't on board with that then he could get lost! He jumped right on that ship, and hasn't jumped off!
I think it's important to wait. OHHH NOOO SHE DID NOT JUST SAY THAT!!! Yes, I did just say that. To be honest, I don't think sex is everything and I don't think it should make or break a relationship. Of course it's an important key to a successful relationship, and every counselor out there would probably agree, but I think it can be saved for marriage! I hate how now sex is somewhat a normal stipulation for dating, and can be grounds for breaking up if it's not WORLD SHATTERING, EARTH MOVING amazing!
I think sex and relationships are a learning experience. As time passes, your relationship and love grows, your body may look different, and things that someone liked before may change.
Does this mean that I'm not turned on?? Heck no!! I'm not abnormal or anything! I am a NORMAL 25 year old, with a NORMAL libido! We just have grown a mutual respect for one another and don't want to cross a line too early that we can't uncross! Matt is supppppppeeeer sexy, and when that time comes, I'm down! Yeah, yeah, I know I may get some hate for this, or even some rude commentary, but this is solely our decision and I don't care what you chose to do in your relationship/s! It's yours, allllll yours. I get that this is totally foreign for most people, (even our pre-marital counselor was shocked that we haven't done it), but it's the choice WE made. Waiting has definitely grown our friendship into a best friendship which has in turn developed a strong adoration for each other. I adore Matt, and I've never had a relationship that started from being friends; just friends!
So on a final note, if none of your relationships have worked out, maybe try something new. Something that you never thought you'd do before. Mayyybeeeeee, if it won't kill you, try abstaining from sex! If you're not a person who would ever in a million lifetimes want to wait until marriage, maybe just hold out longer than you normally would; get outta your comfort zone! Create a foundation of friendship first and really see if you two are compatible. You may be surprised with the outcome!
p.s. Matt is an amazing cuddler, and I love being little spoon lol :) p.p.s. I just looked up "cuddler" on Google to see if I spelt it correctly, and did y'all know that "Professional Cuddler" is an actual career for people?? weird.
Link to the book on Amazon: