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  • Emily Eliza

LET'S TALK ABOUT PORN, BABY

Updated: Jul 28, 2019

♪ ♫ Let’s talk about porn baby, let’s talk about their bodies, let’s talk about all the strange things, and the gross things that we see. Let’s talk abooouut porn. ♪ ♫

Yeah…you get the idea lol! If the title of this post didn’t turn you away, I’m glad you stuck around to have (well I guess read) this awkward moment with me! Aren’t you glad this is all over social media with no human interaction WHAT SO EVER! Great! Me too, lol!

I also want to briefly address that this post is meant to display my viewpoints/findings on pornography, and why I disagree with it, BUT I’m not calling any of you out or telling you that you’re in the wrong if you partake/watch/whatever you do with pornography. **Also, this is not a Christian based post. This is strictly based off of factual studies. 

Shirt: Fight The New Drug / Tote: Fight The New Drug


My first interaction with porn was at a very young age. At first, I didn’t really understand or know what I was seeing, just that the people looked the same way I did when I took a bath: clothes-less. Then, we started talking puberty and gender stuff in school, and I started realizing what I was seeing. But, yet again, I didn’t know it was exactly a “private”  or “wrong” thing to be seeing. [ I say “private” because the average person doesn’t make it known that they watch porn; and I say “wrong” because that’s what I think it is. ]  At that point, I believe I was like, oh cool, their trying to make a baby. Got it. But now that I’m older, in hindsight, porn really messed me up! And I bet I’m not the only one!


Flash forward a couple years later when I moved to Chicago (for timeline purposes – I was 11 years old), I became addicted to porn! No one would have ever guessed, especially with the 20+ Parental Control systems installed on our family computer, buuuuuut I found my way around those. [ That’s a bit of an exaggeration on the Parental Control stuff, but still our computer was on lock down, lol. But, I’m thankful to have parents who actually cared about my mental well being, and I fully support Parental Controls… WATCH OUT my future kids … you may hate me! ] Since I couldn’t watch anything at home, I would watch stuff at friends’ houses. Which opened their eyes to the world of porn too. At that age, I didn’t really understand what masturbation was, so I would just watch, and question, and analyze what was happening. [ I feel really bad about introducing porn to my friends, and wish I could take that all back! ]

Embarrassing story right here: One night, some of my friends and I were watching porn in their room, when their mother opened the door without knocking. And at that exact moment, the computer screen froze. “Hey guys, what are you doing?” their mom asked. We panicked, and made up some random lie, while trying to move the screen out of her view! And I’m not sure if you guys remember, but on old PC’s – when they would freeze – you could move the mouse and kinda paint the screen with the box symbol? Well, they had a beetle instead of a box. So yeah, that’s what we did to get rid of the evidence! We painted the screen with beetles, lol.


Watching porn in middle school, kinda led me in a bad direction. I wanted to have guys around me all of the time. I flirted with soooo many guys, had a couple one-to-two weekers (boyfriend for a week lol), and thought that I was experienced some how because I watched porn. I never hooked up with any guys that I remember, but I had a lot of rumors spread about me. For the record, NONE of them were true! I remember one guy I dated in 8th grade, Juicey Brucey was his nickname, asked me to give him a hand job… I broke up with him that very day! Gross. Gross. Gross!! 

Flash forward to high school, I still was watching porn. I’m not sure if you guys know, but I’m a Christian, and God is totally not a fan of porn! So…that would categorize me as a sinner! My youth pastor at church put out some feels for a new series that would feature some of our testimonies! I texted him immediately, eager to tell my story! We started planning on how to go about it all, when one day he called my bs. He said, “You’re still watching porn, aren’t you?”. I didn’t even have to answer, he saw the truth on my face. And that started my road to recovery! **I had a few slips ups in college, and after that, but I’ve been sober now for a good while, and I plan on being sober for the rest of my life!


Woooooo, that was a lot to get off my chest and out into the open! So…why did I just tell you all of that? I told you all that, because I don’t want to be a hypocrite! I don’t want to talk about a touchy subject, when I’ve never experienced it! So, lets get to the nitty-gritty; shall we?

Pornography is DESTRUCTIVE, TRANSFORMATIVE, and DESENSITIZING!



When I began watching porn, I would get this excited feeling – I think it was a mixture of all those sexual hormones: dopamine, oxytocin, adrenaline, and endorphins. But the more and more I watched, those hormones started diluting. I felt disgusted, dirty, and numb. And that transferred over to my dating relationships. I was numb to love, to trust, to anything sexual.

Porn creates a fantasy that’s completely UNrealistic! That’s their job! They are getting paid to “enjoy” and act it all out! It’s all fake! Even down to the orgasms… [ A guy I dated in college treated me like a porn star. He didn’t understand why I couldn’t fulfill his ultimate fantasies…and that’s because I wasn’t created to be just a body. ] Try being in a “loving” relationship while your person is watching pornography (just them, not you)…it will MESS YOU UP!

Here’s the viewpoint of some guy I matched with on Bumble:


Enough with what I think, let’s see what experts have to say:

The rapid proliferation of pornography is one of the digital age’s legacies; some 40 million people in the United States visit porn websites regularly, many of them emerging or young adults.” -#6

In their proposed legislation, Virginia lawmakers claim pornography is “addictive,” promotes normalization of rape, may lessen the “desire to marry,” and “equates violence with sex,” encourages “group sex,” “risky sexual behavior” and infidelity, among other effects.” -#8

The “high” you get makes you want to repeat the behavior again and again. Porn is an escalating behavior because as some users develop tolerance, the porn that used to excite them starts to seem boring. -#7 

Porn-free relationships are stronger, with a lower rate of infidelity.” -#6

Watching porn diminishes relationship commitment.” -#6

The fantasy alternative leads to real-world cheating." -#6

When porn enters the brain, it triggers the reward center (like we talked about before) to start pumping out dopamine, which sets off a cascade of chemicals including a protein called DeltaFosB. [15] DeltaFosB’s regular job is to build new nerve pathways to mentally connect what you’re doing (i.e. the porn you watch) to the pleasure you feel.-#7

As Michael Kimmel reported in his 2008 book Guyland, young men often watch porn with their peers and for different reasons than older men. Kimmel writes that “guys tend to like the extreme stuff, the double penetrations and humiliating scenes. They watch it together with guys and they make fun of the women in the scene.” -#6

Popular media have capitalized on cautionary tales about porn addiction and stories of boyfriends objectifying their girlfriends and wanting them to behave like porn stars.” -#6

Porn users may think they’re just being entertained by sexually explicit content, but their brains are busy at work building connections between their feelings of arousal and whatever’s happening on their screen.” -#7

Just like the rats, many porn users eventually find themselves getting aroused by things that used to disgust them or that go against what they think is morally right.” -#7

In many cases, porn users find their tastes so changed that they can no longer respond sexually to their actual partners, though they can still respond to porn.” -#7

and greater likelihood of divorce.” -#7

One of the big problems with porn addiction is that it could be contributing to a more deep-seated problem that needs attention and medical care – such as depression.” -#9




MY KEY POINTS:

**Studies has shown that men who watch porn, normally are less satisfied with their earthly relationships (yes, women watch porn too). **Studies have shown that porn is similar to a drug, and your brain can become dependent on the way it makes you feel. **Studies have shown that porn is a gateway to abusive treatment and abusive relationships. **Studies have shown that porn desensitizes the heart, and makes it harder to experience pure love. **Studies have shown “an increased negative attitude toward women, decreased empathy for victims of sexual violence… and an increase in dominating and sexually imposing behavior.” (#1 FTND) **Studies have shown that many people who are involved in the porn industry may also be tied to sex trafficking. **Studies have shown that porn abuse numbs the heart, making it difficult to grasp true and pure love.

If you’ve watched porn in the past, still watch porn now, or are watching at this moment while reading this, know that I can relate. You are not alone, and it’s okay to admit if you have a problem! I just hope for your sake, that you’ll seek out help before you can’t decipher between what’s real love and what’s abuse. I wish someone would have helped me, but then again, I didn’t tell anyone!

I would love to know your thoughts, but if you comment/message me about scientific crap, Google will be your best friend on that one! I am in no way a scientists, but I do love me some research!

If you never have never felt or thought about anything I mentioned/researched, then why doesn’t pornography come up in your casual conversations? Something to think about. 





**This post is not paid/sponsored by Fight The New Drug. All photographs by Kelsey Young Photography



Sources: [ I wanted to have so many more sources, but this post was already way too long! Google has a lot more than these if you’re curious! ] #1-  Fight The New Drug #2-  Forbes – Pornhub 2017 Year In Review Insights Report Reveals Statistical Proof We Love Porn [ This article personally disgusts me. ] #3-  FTND – How Many People Are On Porn Sites Right Now? (Hint: It’s A Lot.) #4-  Enough Is Enough #5-  pureHope #6- Psychology Today – What Porn Does to Intimacy  #7- FTND – 15 Scientifically Explained Reasons Why Porn Isn’t Healthy For Viewers Or Society #8- New York Post – This is what porn does to your brain #9- CureJoy – 5 Surprising Side Effects Of Porn Addiction You Didn’t Know #10- WealthyGorilla – 15 ALARMING REASONS TO STOP WATCHING ADULT VIDEOS #11- FoxNews – How watching porn may affect your sex life #12- JodieGale – WATCH: 3 Netflix Documentaries Reveal the Harmful Truth About Pornography



Also, here are some pictures with statistics:

#health #thebrain #abuse #secrets #statistics #facts #destructive #addiction #pornhub #porn #fakesex #sex #abussive #relationships #lies #healthylifestyle #transformative #actors #unhealthy #pornography

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