LEARNING TO SAY NO
Updated: Jul 28, 2019
I’ll admit, I think I’m the screw up in the family. No, my parents and siblings haven’t outright said that, and I honestly don’t think that they have thought it either, but that doesn’t stop me from thinking it. See, there’s this mold that is common amongst my family, and I cracked it. I so freakin’ cracked it.
I know my family is very proud of me with what I’ve accomplished in life, and who I’ve become, and I’m so grateful for their support!
See, I haven’t said no to a lot in life. Two things specifically: I haven’t always said no to another drink, and I haven’t said no to many guys. There are many factors as to why I chose these things, and I’ll let you interpret what you want. If you are interested though, in knowing more than just the vague, I’m happy to connect! In these last 10 months though, I have been learning to say no. I do say no to more drinks, and I understand my limits. And I do say no to guys.
I still don’t fully understand why I do some things, and why I don’t do some things. Trust me, I’m really working on it. But, I wonder if that’s just something I struggle with, or is it common with humans? I sin, you sin, we all sin.
If you follow me on social media at all, you may have noticed that I do some risky things. I put myself in dangerous situations, toxic situations even, and I know all of this before I do it. There’s just something in me that doesn’t want to change. Have you ever heard the saying or idea that there is an angel on your right shoulder and a devil on your left? I really don’t think it’s a devil on my left shoulder; I think it’s the person I’ll become if I keep slyly making mistakes. I’ve been smaller versions of that person throughout these last 5 years, and I can’t imagine being that person full blown.
My sister Erin, is someone I look up to and she inspires me daily to be better version of myself. She is someone that gives me harsh, but great advice, and she knows I need to hear it. She didn’t used to really understand me, but now she calls my BS and it really helps. When I contemplate doing something, I try to hear her voice. We didn’t exactly have the same upbringing or story, but we share very similar beliefs. She, fortunately, has stayed true to her beliefs, and I, well … I have forfeited and fought over my beliefs. I want to be someone like Erin; someone that holds true to their values. Someone who doesn’t back down; and the only way I know how to do that is to say no.
I’m sorry, but I’m saying no.