Updated: Jul 29, 2019
This week, I posted an old picture on Instagram, in attempt to advertise for my …. DRUMMMM ROLLL …. FIRST EVER music single! WAAAHHHHHT (spoken in minion voice)! Yeah, I know. Emily Hefta actually doing music … shocker? Obviously I didn’t fool many people, as to the lack of “likes” I got… lol! That’s a-okay, I feel ya, many people in Nashville are skeptical about other musicians. Especially those who just randomly start unleashing songs… Well, don’t get your hopes up yet! I just started on this project, so I anticipate the single will be coming out in 2018!
I have been writing songs ever since I was about, eehh I’d say, 7 years old. If I had to guess, I probably have around 50 or more complete/semi-complete songs in my song binder!
[When I think about it, that’s honestly not that much for 16 years worth of writing lol]
Yet, I’ve never done anything with them. They’ve just sat there, completely abandoned and unheard. Poor babies, lol. Unfortunately, they will continue to sit there, because “First” is a new song I came up with!
And so, the story begins!
It was a late Monday evening, when the faint melody came to me. I was in the shower de-stressing from a long day at work, and I just couldn’t shake the thought “first” out of my mind. The lyrics escaped from my mouth, just like the demogorgons remains coming out of Will’s mouth, and started to form phrases. (if you don’t know what I’m talking about… watch Stranger Things now)
I knew if I didn’t write the words down that second, I would completely forget by the end of my shower!! That’s where having roommates is great!
“Christy!” “Christy!” “Christy!” I yelled her name about 3 times before she finally responded “What?” “Can you come here please?” When I told her my request all she did was laugh.
And that’s when First was born.
I’ve noticed a pattern over the years with the guys I’ve dated. I always seem to be their “first” something, but never their last. Their first real relationship, their first kiss, their first love, the first girl that meets their family, their first heartbreak, their first girlfriend, their first fling, the first girl that their friends like, the first girl that gave them butterflies, the first girl that challenges them, the first girl to say no, the girl that makes them realize what they want in life, the girl that makes them realize I’m not what their looking for. The list can go on for days.
And if I’m honest, that list kinda goes both ways. Some of those guys were my firsts too, and obviously weren’t my last.
By me being “first” with a lot of those guys, meant I was special! Different, unique, and genuine. And then, one day, out of nowhere, I just wasn’t special anymore. I wasn’t what they initially thought, and I wasn’t what they dreamed I would be. Weeks go on, and their interest starts dwindling down.
Now, let me bring some joy and light to this! It’s not a negative song about how I suck, and that no one will ever love me lol! I ain’t gonna pull a T-Swift exactly. I am sooooooo thankful to God that none of those relationships worked out! I would have been drowning in negativity and sadness if they did!
All I’m asking is this: When will some guy be my first? Ya know, the guy that continues to pursue me, just because I fascinate him? The whole “chivalry is not dead” saying that my generation lovesssss use, is not completely incorrect. Chivalry isn’t dead, and I’ve experienced it a lot these past couple of weeks! Pursuit, is what’s dead! As soon as guys feel like they “have you”, they pull back a bit and slow the chase! But, let me set things straight. Money is just actions! Girls need the words too! And personally, I’m the type of girl that doesn’t get wooed too much on the money side; I want physical words that you care about me.
This song is me finally expressing how angry I am with that. How angry I am that I’m never chosen. How angry I am that guys convinced me that I wasn’t enough, and that I’m not enough.
I hope my song portrays this feeling, I truly do.
p.s. this is a really good article: I’m Slowly Learning To Not Blame Myself When Things End