• Emily Eliza


Updated: Jul 28, 2019

Do you ever find yourself doing the same things again and again, where eventually it becomes a habit? (I’ve heard it takes 21 days to break/start a habit. Unfortunately for me, 21 days is more like 1.5 years, and no, I haven’t yet broke it.)

Yeah, me too. To be completely transparent, that’s relationships for me. I “think” I’m trying something new, something that will be better and finally work for me. But then, I fall back into the repeat cycle, and everything turns to crap. The honeymoon phrase passes, and I realize, “wow, you really are a douchebag”. Why me? Why again?

That’s what this song is mainly about.


I am everyone’s first. First kiss, First heartbreak, First girlfriend, First rebound, First girl they take home, First love, First everything.

When I wrote this song, I thought through the guys that I’ve either been in love with, or had a quick fling with. I couldn’t shake the image of bowling and card games from my mind. So, that’s what I wrote about.

“I’m always the first one. I’m always the first one down. I’m always their first strike, then they never come around.”

Think about it. When someone is bowling, do they care about the first pin they hit? How about their first strike? Yeah, maybe if they are 5 and it’s their first time bowling ever (which let’s be honest, most guys I’ve dated have acted like a little confused 5 year old, but we will save that for another song, lol.)? NO! They care about the strike after that, and the strike after that! It’s all about the score.

“I don’t know what you want anymore, so I am done here keeping score.”

This one line chorus is based off a more recent guy, who I had a thing with back in November-December 2017.  He was crazy cool, and I thought “wow, who is this guy, and where did he come from?”. And then I could tell something was wrong, when our plans just randomly started slipping and he stopped caring. He was super into me, and then poof, I was a first strike again. He slowly started ghosting me, and I felt like we were keeping score. He would text me almost exactly 24 hours later, 1 to 1. You text me, I text you, whose turn is it again?

So, if you listen really close to the song, at the end of the bridge, you can hear a card shuffler to represent that relationship.

“Don’t play these games. Just tell me straight to my face. Don’t walk away. And have me chase you like the old days.”

And then we get to the bridge. GUYS WHO ARE READING THIS (if any): these specific lyrics are for YOU. All girls ever want is honesty. Yes, some girls are psycho and want drama instead, but most (normal girls) want honesty. If you’re not into me/them, just tell say it! It’s way better to put the truth out early on, than way down the road! I shouldn’t have to chase you out of a room during a dramatic fight (which should not happen if you’re actually in a healthy relationship with a male who acts like an adult), because you’re not willing to grow some balls and hurt someone! Don’t play games with girls, because emotions are actually really simple.


Don’t be a dick. If you just want to sleep around, find a girl who wants the same thing. If you don’t want a relationship, drop the chick that’s try to chain you down. If you are cheating on someone, go die. If you know what you want, figure that out before you drag someone into your mess. Ghosting makes you a boy, not a man. Don’t bring someone into your personal and emotional world, if you’re not ready to let someone in. Again, don’t be a dick.

I really hope you guys love my song, and the best is sooooo yet to come! I can’t wait to start recording new music soon, and I hope you stay with me on this journey! I promise, you will be blindsided with my new stuff!

**p.s.  this song does not apply to all girls and guys. Some chicks really are messed up, and exaggerate a lot in their story, but some don’t either. So be really careful who you decide to bring into your life!

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