DON'T FORCE IT
Updated: Jul 28, 2019
I desperately want to be loved.
Yeah, yeah, yeah (to you Jesus followers reading this), I know God loves me and that should/could be enough for me. But I'm talking about that the love that I see between friends and their spouse, my mom and dad, my family, strangers; that love. That intense, I don't understand it, kind of love.
If you're like me - 20 something, single, Jesus follower - you may be going down the same path (you don't have to fit that mold for this post to be applicable to you). You constantly are hearing from your peers, "You're such an awesome person; I can't believe you're single; it will happen one day, I know it". And your response might be similar to mine, "Yeah I know I am, how does that help me; Welp, believe it because I am more single than a Pringle; And when is one day, and how do you know it?". *Yes I am aware that the "Pringle" reference I just made doesn't make any freakin' sense, because they come with many friends in a tube, but in my head I liked the way it sounded!
I don't want to force anything, but I always end up doing it in a way. And it's always with boys/men/guys that weren't good for me, or even enough for me from the start. I seem to think that if I tell them multiple times that they like me and that I know why, that it will somehow convince them that I'm who they weren't* looking for. Cause let's be honest and real for a sec, the guys that fall in my lap are only after one thing, so they definitely WERE NOT and ARE NOT looking for anyone. And every time I hear that small voice (I think it's Jesus) telling me, NOOOOO they don't like you, they like the idea of you in their bed, I twist it into what I want to hear.
LADIES!!!!??? Am I crazy or what? Do you guys feel this way too?
I'm tired, soooo tired, of being on replay. But here's the thing, I've made the mistakes, I've dealt with my messes, and I know exactly how to clean them up and prevent them from happening again! So why don't I? Why don't YOU? Because at the end of the day, to YOU and to ME, we are receiving in our eyes: Love.
I'll be honest and say, some times I give up hope. This is not how I imagined my life; NOT EVEN CLOSE!! Yes, I am 23, which is still young, but that doesn't make my desire diminish. I truly want to believe what people tell me, I'm just not sure if I do. But, I want to leave YOU with the same advice I give myself: If you hear that small voice telling YOU that you're worth way more than that man can give you, put your hands down, take your lips off his, walk away, call a Lyft or Uber, and leave him behind.
Love will find you, and it will be pure and true, and you'll be glad that you listened to that small voice.